Of Pink And Blue

Walk into any Toys R Us store and you'll see it immediately. There are aisles of pink and aisles of blue. The color of boys and girls toys is one of the many ways in which our culture separates the sexes, or at least their perceived preferences, at an early age.

It starts even earlier with choices of colors and gifts for a child's nursery or the clothes infants wear. And it continues long into life down to the choices we make when purchasing perfumes - masculine or feminine.

Aside from the stereotype tastes these differences perpetuate, there's nothing wrong with these male and female choices, as long as they don't create a handicap for one of the genders at some point in life.

Boys are raised to be tough. They are not expected to show emotion as easily. And, they are rewarded for being resourceful and strong enough to help out their female counterparts in a pinch.

But what if there's no help around and a girl or young woman finds herself alone under attack from a stranger?

The organizers of a new program for the Dayton school district, initiated by Columbia County's Prosecutor's Office and the YWCA, teach girls what most of them probably didn't learn at home: how to defend themselves.

As principal Andy Maheras, one of the participants in the program, points out, our society's cultural norms don't encourage girls to be assertive, even when the situation calls for it.

Look around at the school yard where boys may be inclined to get into a tussle, while girls, though physically active, rarely get into this type of a test of wills. Of course, playground aggression should be avoided and discouraged, but a little training and preparation for those unexpected moments when survival instincts need to kick in doesn't hurt.

In this country, 600 women are believed to be raped or sexually assaulted every day with many incidents going unreported because the victims feel nothing can or will be done about it. The most vulnerable age group is 20 - 24.

But there is a way young women can keep from becoming a statistic. Girls need to feel empowered to protect themselves.

That's the reason Maheras velcroed himself into his foam Redman suit for several weeks this spring to let girls get a physical sense for what it takes to fend off an attacker.

Despite the ample padding and encouragement from the adults (including June Riley, deputy County Prosecutor and Ann Passmore from the YWCA), the high school girls still seemed hesitant to give it their all, perhaps out of respect for their principal or simply because they had little experience to draw from.

The session on Monday, set aside for high schoolers, was more lightly attended than the ones for middle schoolers. The timing just before the end of the busy school year may have been a factor. Organizers said they will run the new program, whose participation is voluntary, again in the fall and spring.

Well, listen up girls. You'd be well advised to take part!

Where else do you get a chance to rough up Mr. Maheras? (Don't try this at school. He has three black belts).

But more importantly, you need to know how to use the tools you have to get out of a tight spot, learn how to stop any unwanted attention or physical harm, and know when, for once, you're not expected to be "nice."

Society is changing. Girls and women are chipping away at the stereotype label of the weaker sex. We see girls fixing cars and girls on wrestling teams, girls learning how to use the bow and arrow, and girls excelling in martial arts.

This is good. Parents should encourage and help their girls develop their ability to set clear boundaries and enforce them when help is in short supply because, unfortunately, some things in society don't change such as the criminal mind that preys on the weak or those perceived to be weak.

Let's give them a surprise, girls!