A Kiss On Main Street

Since Coppei Coffee opened, lots of people have met each other in front of the shop or inside. Some ran into each other by chance, while others said "let's meet at the coffee shop on Main."

We've seen handshakes, hugs and kisses in these encounters, so the subject of greetings was already on our minds when a segment came on National Public Radio during a recent drive home from Walla Walla.

It was about a German organization proposing a ban on kissing in the work place.

The Knigge Society, a German group that advises on etiquette and social behavior, said that a new "kissing in the work place" habit sweeping that country was making people feel uncomfortable.

The group's chairman, Hans Michael-Klein, said those who wish not to be forced into this type of collegiate affection ought to be protected against it.

"So we are suggesting that if people don't mind it, they announce it with a little paper message placed on their desk," he told an interviewer from the BBC.

"People say this is not typical German behavior," the chairman continued. "It has come from places like Italy, France and South America, and belongs in a specific cultural context."

There's no question that kissing and hugging habits vary wildly the world over.

Observers of social customs who studied the frequency of touching in different cities found that, say, at the average sidewalk café, it happens 180 times per hour in Puerto Rico, Paris 110, Florida 2 and London 0.

The French and Italians, these observers found, love to continue to touch while they talk, while the British prefer not to touch at any time unless they are celebrating a goal scored by their home team in a large soccer stadium.

Differences in handshaking can be perplexing. According to one website, Germans compare American handshakes with their frequent pumps, to the blowing up of an airbed. Indian, Asian and Arab cultures continue to hold your hand long after the shake has ended.

Differences in kissing can be equally confusing. Scandinavians often prefer a single kiss, while the French kiss once, twice or trice (the further south you go the more kisses), while the Dutch, Belgians and Arabs go for a triple kiss. Most Brits prefer not the kiss at all, while American kissing habits are all over the map, depending largely on one's familiarity with the other person.

Upon reaching the summit of Mount Everest, Sir Edmund Hillary (a New Zealander) faced Sherpa Tenzing Norgay, ready to give him a proper British congratulatory handshake, while Norgay leaped forward to hug and kiss him - the customary Tibetan greeting on such a momentous occasion.

We've seen all sorts of greetings down here on Waitsburg's Main Street.

The wave is popular. It's more or less become our "default setting," and seems like a suitable small town acknowledgement of each other. One of the great comforts of living in a community the size and kind of Waitsburg is that many people do know each other, so the wave fits right in with our culture.

We always have to remind ourselves of the difference when we visit Seattle, where most people will look at you dumbfounded at the sight of a wave, except perhaps, at Husky Stadium - but that's the other wave.

Some, particularly at the jimgermanbar, may bow with hands folded before the forehead in the Asian spiritual greeting manifested while uttering the word Namaste, which means "the spirit in me bows to the spirit in you."

There's plenty of kissing in Waitsburg and hugging for that matter. More and more, various cultures converge on our area with people who have national cultural roots in other parts of the country, such as the South and the Midwest, France, Germany, the Netherlands and Australia.

We understand Klein's observations reflect a concern among German women that the growth in work place kissing is merely a ruse among men to get closer to their female counterparts, which they in turn view as unwanted attention.

We believe that, as long as the intentions behind affection are, well, affectionate rather than lustful, the touch, the kiss and the hug can be a nurturing and respectful way to acknowledge one another. After all, we are physical as well as spiritual beings.

Namaste.