Serving Waitsburg, Dayton and the Touchet Valley
A h, prom. It comes but once a year and for only a few years in a given lifetime. It's opulent, flashy, hyperbolistic, and occasionally controversial. (Remember last year's vig- orous debate over a certain highly divisive set of grind- ing rules? Good, neither do I.)
They say it's the best event of the best days of your life, the very crème de le crème of the high school experience, a magically sub- lime event where every girl is a princess and every boy minds his manners and all your dreams come true.
I'm not going.
I attempted to explain this to a certain friend of mine as the two of us took shelter from a particularly nasty windstorm inside, of all things, a J.C. Penney outlet.
"Well, why not?" she asked, gazing at a kiosk of goldtone earrings. In response, I told her a very long and very compli- cated story that pretty much boils down to the following point: I don't have a date.
I know that going to prom does not require a date, but I don't see much point in going without one. I don't dance in groups, preferring instead to bust my own (more space-consuming) moves. But space-consum- ing moves in a sheath dress? Not gonna work.
To make matters even trickier, I won't go with just any Tom, Dick, or Harry. No, I have standards. I personally don't see these standards as too high - all I ask is that he be a nice guy willing to talk to me every now and then who would dance at least three-fourths of the dances with me and drop me off at home with my dignity intact.
Just my dumb luck that every guy I know personally who answers this description already has a date.
All of this has made my latest community-service endeavor all the more dif- ficult. I'm the president of the WHS Leo's Club. Our latest food drive has an unorthadox format - we're assembling a basket full of prom-related stuff that we will raffle off to the student body. One nonperishable food item buys one ticket in said raffle.
Scouting around for goods to donate, I've had to put myself in the shoes of someone going to prom - what do they really need? Jewelry? What sort? A gift certificate for money off a tuxedo rental? Or have most boys reserved their tuxes already? Bath prod- ucts? Which ones, and in what quantities? Dinner out? Where?
(As long as we're on this topic, I'd like to give a shout- out to Jacky's Flowers and The Purple Parasol for their generous donations to this effort. Thanks!)
My friend seemed to understand. We scouted around the complex and managed to pick up some nice jewelry for the raffle basket along the way. At one point, she found a blue chiffon prom dress and insisted that I try it on.
I had my doubts, but I slipped into it anyway.
It looked gorgeous. It was the first sleeveless dress I've ever successfully worn, and I barely recognized myself in it. My friend looked smug.
"I'm still not going this year," I told her.
"Well," she said, "prom ise me you'll go your junior and senior years."
Whether or not the pun was intended I'll never know.
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