Know Thy Neighbor

I s it ironi c that I h ave lived next door to Dan and Rosie Nechodom since May but had never been inside their home until this week?

Let me explain further. The Nechodoms are some of the friendliest people in Dayton. Dan is a Dayton High School teacher and track coach. Rosie is the school counselor for both Dayton and Waits- burg districts. I have five kids at home who use the Nechodoms' giant, outdoor trampoline several times each week.

Now are you surprised we've never visited before now? Don't be.

The growing trend, ac- cording to a 2009 Pew Research Center survey, shows that fewer than half of American adults know most or all of their neighbors.

I'd like to blame the Internet and online social media, yet the same study assures us that Americans who go online daily are more likely than non-Inter- net users to know some of their neighbors by name.

Thank you, Facebook. But are we all okay with this kind of staying "in touch"? You don't miss go- ing visiting? My husband does. He remembers fondly the Saturday morning trips to his grandparents' house just for coffee and conver- sation. I remember evenings spent visiting with my par- ents' friends, watching movies (Time Bandits!) or playing outdoors (we once built a seriously cool tree house) with their children while my dad worked in the garage with his buddies and my mom showed off her newest paintings to her pals.

In the small communities that make up the Touchet Valley, it's easy to feel as though we already know everyone. On a weekday trip to the bakery, I could easily tell you the names of everyone I meet.

But I've never been in their homes. And they've never been in mine. And aside from the Nechodoms, I have no idea who my neighbors are.

Does that physical con- tact, that face-to-face inter- action, matter? I argue that it does. Former Facebook president Sean Parker even admits that Facebook was never meant to help you make new connections or develop new relationships.

So top five reasons I think we all need to invest more time into that ancient tradition of visiting:

First, for your health. Going visiting can reduce stress and gets you off your couch. When you focus on someone other than yourself, it interrupts usual tension-producing patterns. I always feel better when I get away from my at-home chores and worries for awhile.

Second, it's good for your neighbors. Although a September article in Forbes magazine states the number of U.S. adults using some form of online social media is up 800 percent from 2005, that still means only 72 percent of us are wired in. So 25 percent of our community members get left behind if we rely on the Internet for our relationships.

Third, get out there for the sake of your children. As a friend who works in education in Dayton once observed, many of our parents want the village to raise their kids, but they don't want to be a part of that village. I'm guilty of that myself sometimes.

Fourth, do it for your community. Research shows that the more people are active in their com- munity, the more they are likely to push for improve- ments - to schools, parks, downtown development and more.

Finally, do it for your safety. Where are you most likely to turn in a crisis or a disaster? You're certainly not going to go online and update your MySpace status to "Help! I'm on the rooftop and my kitchen appliances are floating away down the street!" At least, I hope that's not your action plan.

You are going to rely on your neighbors or that nice man who lives on South 4th Street with the sandbagshellip; what was his name? Man, we've been planning to go visit him forever. Think now's a good time honey?