Alberta the Brain

They call me Alberta the Brain. My name isn't Alberta, but I've got a heckuva brain, and it's telling me that if you put a name on the glass door of your office and that office is at the wrong end of town, it'd better not be your real name.

I'm a private eye, or at least that's what it says on my business cards. Truth is, I'm a nerd. Don't believe me? Check out the wall be- hind me; all those framed "outstanding student" plac- ards and state Knowledge Bowl patches. And because I don't get many cases, I have time to spend acquiring more wall art, if you will.

This guy was kinda scruffy, camel-h...