My Perfect Vacation

I'm one of those people who gets a big kick out of planning (the cynics say "over"-planning) vaca­tions. I will scout madly for the best value in hotels, hunt for the lowest prices, plan the travel route so that we pass through towns with Yelp-approved restaurants at lunchtime, draw up sample itineraries for every day we'll be there, and note the street address of any ice cream shops within walking distance.

I know it sounds weird, but hey, everyone needs a hobby, right?

So when I heard there was a three-day weekend coming up, I immediately began my search for acco­madations that would fit our shoestring budget.

I started in the same place I always start - my pile of "Discover _____" glossies. I have one for nearly every locale from the Treasure Valley to Long Beach.

Hmm. We'd need some­thing within a reasonable commuting distance, so both Long Beach and the Treasure Valley were out. Soap Lake didn't sound like the best cold-weather des­tination, and we'd already seen the Grand Coulee Dam recently. That left Spokane and the Columbia River Gorge.

Hmmmhellip;well, the Gorge is pretty this time of year, so I went with that.

Now, where to stay?

There was a handy list of lodging options in the back of the booklet. However, it did not bother including prices.

Ah well. I scanned the options and found a promis­ing one: "ABC Hot Springs Resort and Spa". It sounded cozy, and the picture by the listing showed three stories of balconies looking out over a wooded courtyard, in the center of which was a steaming pool. My freshly frozen self (I had just gotten back from a sledding trip) found that image most ap­pealing.

But the Internet, ye grande pooper of parties, revealed that this pretty scenery came at a decidedly less attractive price.

So I went back to the booklet and almost im­mediately spotted an old building that almost looked like a castle, surrounded by gardens and with a view of the river.

Back to the Web - but unfortunately, this particu­lar hotel did not choose to post its rates on its site. As I always do in such cases, I checked the American Auto­mobile Association website, selecting "Hood River" under the "Find a Hotel" tab and entering the dates we planned to stay there.

Out of the seven hotels in Hood River, all but three are completely booked this weekend. Of the remain­ing three, only one looked credible enough to actually stay in. And it was charging $140 a night - with the AAA discount and before taxes.

Yeeowch.

So, in a last desperate attempt at rescuciating my weekend of relaxation, I flipped madly through the booklet, looking up every decent lodging option I could pin down. I ran into dead end after dead end be­fore, with my computer fro­zen and my hopes flagging, I gave up. I chucked the Columbia Gorge pamphlet over my shoulder, plunked my head on the keyboard, and began sobbing softly.

My mom wandered by and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Poor thing, you just need some time to relax," she said. "Let's take a vaca­tion."