EMMA PHILBROOK: STUDENT LIFE

The process of planning a Homecoming - at least in the case of my class - is something akin to filling a reactor with random particles and waiting for some new element to reach critical mass. Our meetings on the topic are chaotic at best, with ideas being spewed out from all different directions and no semblance of order, save a cowed-looking class officer jotting everything down on the nearest available whiteboard.

When plans start to crystallize, though, we all get pretty excited.

I would love to tell you all about those plans, but I'm expressly forbidden from doing so lest any underclassmen find out. The details of dress-up days, class competitions, and nearly everything else are kept under wraps until the week before the event. Then again, I can't resist the temptation to discuss it.

So I'll have to censor it.

But if I did that, it would be an entire column full of -------- or (censored) or some other means of blocking content. And that would be boring.

Oh. I know! I'll censor this story with another story!

There was a good deal of controversy over the theme of the dance, with some wanting My family is temporarily lodging a five-month-old kitty from Black Dog Rescue and others preferring an idea that I proposed, he's still hunkered down in the corner of his temporary residence, an old dog kennel. In the end, we voted for the first option by one point, until someone changed the name of my proposal to He's not too popular with our cat, at which point it won by a vast majority. We decided to capitalize on a popular fad for the first dress-up contest, so we'll kick off the week with "Why the heck is he taking a nap in his litter box?" Monday. Tuesday's will be a fun (and perhaps educational) contest - "Man, you can barely see him when the lights are dim" Day. Following will be Wednesday's "He's reaaaaaaaaaally soft, like, reaaaaaalllllly soft" contest, then "He sure purrs loudly" Thursday, and finally Spirit Day on Friday.

Among the class competition highlights are a Heaven help us, the dog just found him contest, a Was that a purr or a growl? race, and a much-anticipated event during which Is he still asleep in that litter box? I hope that's not a habit of his.

The dance itself will be as sumptuous as we can squeeze on our shoestring budget, but attendees can expect lavish touches of Chris, can you get the dog away from that kennel? She's creeping him out as well as a liberal dose of Aww, he's so cute when he's asleep! and gossamer.

My classmates trusted me with picking out crowns for the royalty. I'm especially impressed with the king's crown for this year, which will be completely different from those traditionally given out at WHS homecomings - it will Has he even moved in the past hour? and rival the queen's Poor lil' guy -inchtall crown in splendor. The princesses will wear I hope he settles in soon, and princes will be awarded He isn't going to yowl all night, is he?

Well, now! That worked outhellip;wellhellip; ermhellip;

I'm beginning to see the appeal of the "----------------------" approach.