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EMMA PHILBROOK: STUDENT LIFE

Most everybody, at one point or another, finds themselves wishing that their life was like a movie. Random plot twists? Attractive people of the opposite gender? Spontaneously breaking into song? Count me in.

Recently, I finished plowing through a big pile of homework and was preparing to plow through a similarly-sized pile of scholarship paperwork when I found myself dwelling on that thought. At that point, in the middle of all that paperwork, my life could have used a little Hollywood-style excitement.

Then I checked the list of movies playing at the Liberty Theater and realized that I seemed to be living in several of them at once - or their titles, anyway. A Most Wanted Man: Emma comes early to school and hunts high and low for her math teacher, only to find out that he's in a staff meeting until 8:10 and she could have slept for another forty minutes. Dolphin Tale 2: Due to our abundant creative energy and desire not to be impeded by such petty things as coordination, us seniors are o-fish-ally beginning to fall behind schedule on our Homecoming planning. So if we aren't sardine to make progress soon, this much-anticipated week could take a real nosedive. The BoxTrolls: Emma's two cats take to lurking in empty crates in the computer room and springing on passersby. One of them also decides it would be fun to help Emma type her column. As a result, she is now writing this in "super zoom mode", which she does not know how to fix. (Curse you, BoxTrolls!) The Maze Runner: Emma and her mother are stuck in the corn maze for two and a half hours. Emma is reduced to a micro-examination of the footprints on the trail to determine where they've been before. The rest of her group, meanwhile, just cuts through the corn, so in Emma's opinion the fact that they beat her out by forty minutes doesn't count. My Old Lady: This is one of those artsy independent films. Emma turns seventeen and isn't sure she's ready to grow up quite this fast, so she strongly considers referring to her mature self as a separate entity. (Of course, the birthday doesn't bum her out too much to enjoy the cake.)

Hmm. It's not quite as glamorous as I had hoped.

Maybe if I tried some movies that were playing in bigger theaters? Gone Girl: Emma's dog has gotten in the habit of escaping the back yard - only to wait in the front yard for people to get home. After a highly scientific experiment involving baby powder and a squirt bottle, it appears that she's jumping the fence. Short of getting a taller fence, there doesn't appear to be much hope.

Blast it. Boring, boring, boring.

It's days like this when I wish my life was more like a musical.

 

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