EMMA PHILBROOK: STUDENT LIFE

The quadrant of my brain responsible for generating column inspiration has decided to take a vacation over this three-day weekend, so I'm forced to resort to Emergency Writing Idea Plan 64B: pretending that all of you are high schoolers and then offering advice on a topic relevant to this group. (Just go with it.)

One of the "fun" things about one's senior year is gathering letters of recommendation from teachers. This is easier at Waitsburg than at larger schools because most of the teachers here have at least a vague idea of what your name is. I have a cousin who attended a large school in California where the teachers expected to be bribed for their trouble in writing such a letter.

Well, not "bribed" in so many words. There was, apparently, an unwritten expectation that in return for the vigorous wracking of memory involved in coming up with a page's worth of positive things to say about a given student, a gift of some sort was in order. And while this isn't necessarily the case at Waitsburg High, I still like the idea of giving a recommending teacher a little something for his or her trouble.

What to give? Here's a handy guide:

In most cases, a nice, handwritten card will suffice.

If you actually got accepted to the college they wrote you the letter for, make a note of this in the nice, handwritten card.

If the letter was for a high-stakes scholarship and you managed to win it, consider giving a nice, handwritten, handmade card. (Yes, you do have to make it yourself. There are kits at Jo-Ann if you want to wimp out.)

If you've been on questionable terms with the recommending teacher, consider presenting the gift very quickly after they agree to write the letter. With any luck, they will receive the present while writing the letter, which will boost their impression of you. (Caution: If you have the present ready right when they say "Sure", they might get suspicious.)

If you have an incredibly awesome teacher who has written you all kinds of recommendations and you haven't been terribly good about the whole thank-you thing, never fear. Give a large, "cumulative" gift along with a card thanking them for "all your help as I continue forward on my academic journey". Potted flowers and boxes of chocolate both work well, and should both be on deep discount this soon after Valentine's Day. Be sure to remove the price tags.

If you hear through the grapevine that a teacher wrote you a really lousy letter that lost you admission to your dream school, resist the urge for revenge and give them the standard handwritten card. (Also, tell me the name of your source within the admissions committee. I want to check on the status of my application.)

Check the spelling and grammar on all cards you send to English teachers and/or Knowledge Bowl coaches. That glowing letter extolling your academic brilliance may not be in the mail yet.

And when writing a card, avoid running out of space at the end. It looks incredibly awkward and insinuates that you didn't put much thought into your