180 More Hours of Sunlight

Happy Daylight Saving Time, everybody!

Okay, fine, so maybe “Happy” should be in quotes. Or perhaps eliminated altogether.

Daylight Saving Time, everybody!

Yessiree, it’s that time of year when we cash in our sleep, our sanity, and our statistical probability of avoiding a car accident for 180 extra hours of pure, gushing sunlight per annum.

I understand that there is currently a bill in the state legislature concerning dropping the concept of daylight saving altogether. I expect it to pass – partially because I have faith in humanity, and partially because King County sends so many representatives to Olympia. (King County, of course, doesn’t get much daylight even after Spring Forward kicks in, so it wouldn’t seem to make a good deal of sense on that side of the mountains.)

In the meantime, some braniac scheduled the state KB meet for less than a week after DST. (I kinda like this acronym. If you say the word “dst” out loud, it sounds like you’re spitting contemptuously.) LESS THAN A WEEK. Considering that most contestants have to get up at an obscenely early hour to commute to the meet site, and that many will have stayed up too late the previous night, the fact that most of us are still playing catch-up on our wink quota should make for an “interesting” competition.

Similarly “interesting” will be WHS’s upcoming Every 15 Minutes program. This is a wonderful, moving event about the dangers of drinking and driving. As part of it, students become “dead” and roam campus for the rest of the day totally silent, wearing black cloaks and gaunt, ghostly, hollow-eyed makeup. Something tells me they’ll need less makeup than usual.

Lest I come off as a total “hater,” I should probably at least attempt to list a few DST positives. Hmm…

Your cat’s brain is now an hour behind your schedule, as cats do not observe daylight savings. It will now start bugging you at 4:30 in the morning as opposed to an hour earlier.

Arizona is another non-observer. So when you’re pestering a relative there over the phone, and they say “Oops! It’s really late here, so I have to hang up,” you can call their bluff. You two are now on the exact same time.

If you’re an angst-y teenager who wants to feel edgy without the risk of getting grounded, you may be in luck! Many parents forget to set their clocks properly until a couple days into DST. You just might be able to violate your curfew without their noticing. (Note: I disclaim any and all liability for parents noticing curfew violations. Also, wouldn’t you rather be sleeping?)

It’s a sure sign of spring!

If you’re a Knowledge Bowl team (or any kind of team, for that matter) from Arizona and you’re going to participate in a national tournament this week, you will probably win.

“Fall Back” is going to feel sooooooo good.