Emma Philbrook: STUDENT LIFE

I am supposed to be folding the clothes right now. I’m also supposed to be running a few errands and getting ready to vacuum the carpet in my grandparents’ motorhome.

I have done none of that yet.

But wait – I have a good excuse!

I haven’t done anything because I was doing my homework!

I know what you’re thinking.

“But Emma,” you are thinking, “It’s summer! You don’t have homework!”

As a matter of fact, yes I do.

Whitman College sent me a link to a personal and community safety course. I started it this morning and I can’t stop.

Well, “can’t” might be a strong word. I am physically capable of logging off. But I’m having fun! The silly instructional videos! The trivia quizzes! The adorable pictures of kittens! And the refreshing rush of new knowledge entering my head!

Sure, I have all summer to do it. But people are always harping on me not to procrastinate on my homework! With this out of the way, I’ll have all kinds of free time to do exciting things like fold towels and vacuum the rug.

In fact, if you wait just a minute, I’ll finish it up right now.

….

There! All done. That was fun, and I feel productive and responsible to boot.

I would, of course, feel much more productive and responsible if people would stop yelling at me. (C’mon, the clothes aren’t that urgent! And the errands – well, why didn’t you do them? You were playing video games all morning while I was trying to further my education. You had plenty of time. Also, why are you yelling at me? That’s Mom’s job, and she already got me for not folding the clothes.)

I should probably stop basking in the glory of my incredible productivity now and start in on some of my chores.

Let’s see…

Folding the clothes sounds like a nice start, but now that I’m in a learning mood, I’ll try a few rounds of Internet beat-the-timer quizzes.

…

Whee! That was fun. Now where was I?

Oh yeah. Clothes.

Hmm…foldfoldfold…hmm…stackstackstack…hmm…

Y’know what? I’m an intellectual, not a laundress. Four shirts is admirable progress, but I feel vastly understimulated.

Maybe I can fold these while watching a National Geographic documentary!

Hmm…foldfoldfold…hmm…watchwatchwatch…hmm…education…

Whoa! All of these clothes are done already! I’m a multitasking speed demon!

I guess it’s just about lunchtime. What does the clock say?

Seven P.M? And I still haven’t run any errands?

Ah well. This, friends, is the plight of the absentminded intellectual.