Ken Graham: FROM THE PUBLISHER

When someone calls me “Scrooge” or “The Grinch,” I usually take it as a compliment. What’s up with the two-month long celebration, I ask them. I mean, we don’t celebrate the Fourth of July in May.

I often think that if I were president (God forbid!), I would outlaw Christmas decorations and Christmas music until at least the 20th of December, if not a day or two later. Retail stores found guilty of holding Christmas sales before about mid-December would be subject to a special holiday abuse tax, proceeds from which would be used to enforce my new rules. Anyone found dressed as Santa Claus in N...