Parties the KISS Way

While drinking my morning coffee, a “news story” posted by VOX Media popped up on my phone. The article asks the question “is it possible that the dinner party has died with the millennial generation?” The short answer is: No! But the times have changed, and with it, millennials have adapted the dinner party to fit their lifestyle.

The article harkens back to some sage advice from Martha Stewart; i.e., parties should have a theme, cooking should commence about a week in advance, and of course, the meal, décor, and cutlery should match the theme. Emily Post’s granddaughter suggests that written invitations should be mailed, and if your home or apartment is too small, rent a larger space. Seriously? What generation are you ladies from? Not mine, (baby boomer), for sure not the millennials, Gen Xers and whatever’s up next.

The only dinner parties I remember my parents hosting were for family occasions or holiday celebrations. I grew up in New York, with a large, close, extended family, including, of course, the requisite characters, especially the annoying cheek pinchers.

Most family events were at our house, both a tribute to my mother’s good cooking, and her extraordinary hospitality. No protective plastic covers on the living room furniture, no white carpet or expensive dishes in sight, and combined with my parents easy-going dispositions, great senses of humor, our kid friendly house was party central.

After my mother died, I found her box of recipe cards. If you need a laugh, rummage through this box. Cards without a title or name of the dish, if meat was listed, you at least had a clue as to what the final product could be. Other cards list ingredients without measurements, some cards have measurements but no instructions as to what to do with them. Not one dish on these cards do I ever remember seeing on our table. And for sure, none will be served by me.

What she did pass down was her love of family, friends and gathering. She mastered dinners for 30, with what I now recognize as the KISS method, short for “Keep It Simple Stupid.” The menu was always uncomplicated, usually brisket or turkey and the usual side dishes. The contributions from family and friends were mostly from a neighborhood bakery or the ubiquitous red Jell-O mold. Food was secondary to all of us just being together.

While living in Los Angeles, I started a Friday night dinner tradition with a couple that I had been friends with for years. My friend didn’t cook, but her husband liked home cooking. My husband always worked until about 9 or 10 at night, and by Friday, I was tired of scrambled eggs or eating cold cereal. My friends were responsible for dessert; I did the rest. I made a quick stop at the grocery store on my way home from work, and made quick, simple dinners. After about three consecutive Friday dinners, other couples, friends and even business associates joined the group. For eight years, every Friday night was dinner at our house. Everyone brought something, helped clean, and helped cook if needed.

Millennials still have dinner parties, but, they, like my mother and me, have figured it out. Instead of the formality and antiquated ideas of Martha Stewart & Emily Post, they prioritize friendships! Good for them, and good for me, because as an old baby boomer, I now feel like a millennial. The people, friends and fun are always my priorities, food counts, but enjoying friends and family count more.

As colder weather approaches, don’t hibernate, have a dinner party, keep it simple, have fun.