Presidents' Day-Truth or Tact?

Truth is, I am old enough to remember when we honored Washington and Lincoln on two different days in February, and celebrated with two school vacation days. I choose to continue that tradition. I celebrate Washington’s Birthday first, because I love cherry pie! We’re told of the fable, that when asked if he had chopped down the cherry tree, George confessed to the crime, because he could not tell a lie.

Lying (or truth), can be a tricky concept. Most of us are taught that “honesty is the best policy.” But, is it always? “Honey, does this dress make me look fat?” Really, do you want to hear the honest answer to that one? Or, eating dinner at a friend’s and declaring the food is delicious, when, it’s not even close to edible. How much is honesty worth if it means losing friends?

Some of us learn about lying the hard way. At my grandmother’s one holiday, when I was about 5 years old, my mother warned me not to eat the candy. Of course, I ate the green hard candy. Shortly after finishing the sweet, she asked if I had eaten the candy, to which, I naturally, replied “no,” not realizing that my mouth was green. I was immediately walked to the bathroom, and had my mouth washed out with soap. A harsh lesson, which obviously stayed in my mind.

My mother taught us; “if you don’t have anything nice to say about someone or something, say nothing.” Again, isn’t that one of those adages that may work better in theory than in practice? When people ask me for an honest opinion, sometimes it takes a quick calculus to compute how honest is honest? How often can you get away with, “That’s an interesting color choice for the bathroom?” When, in your mind, you’re really thinking. “A black wall, weird!” Sorry, George W., I will go for the tactful, rather than what I think is the truth. I love my friends, weird taste and all!

Worse than the “isn’t my dog cute” question, is the grandchild question. Not all children are adorable when they are first born. I would never tell anyone I thought their child or grandchild wasn’t adorable. Luckily, all my family and friends have adorable children, so I have not had to stretch the truth on that question. Whew, dodged that bullet!

How many of us don’t ‘stretch the truth,’ or flat out lie, when a child proudly displays his artwork or craft project? Don’t we all say, “Beautiful,” as though it deserves a spot in the Louvre? Or, what about remarks about playing musical instruments? My sister played violin; however, she is tone deaf. How often could we compliment her fine musicality, with our fingers stuck securely in ours ears? It started to look a bit suspicious. She now plays piano, and we can applaud her for real.

I went to a small private, inexpensive culinary school. Every penny of tuition money counted, so they were always complimenting our cooking. Good or bad, we received good grades, they didn’t want to lose students or the tuition money. After graduating, I went to work in a restaurant. I did well at culinary school, I was ready to be a rock star in the kitchen. After two days, I realized I knew nothing. My mother used to tell us, “humility is good for the soul.” I was humbled! Also burned and exhausted, but I learned about false flattery—not everyone deserves an ‘A’.

Truth is important. So is tact, consideration and politeness. Maturity hopefully teaches us the difference. I do love cherry pie, and that’s the truth!