Life, a Period of Adjustments

I think everyone goes through periods of adjustment; some are more difficult than others. Changes to relationships, houses, careers, seasons, and aging, are never-ending, but that’s life.

My mother’s parents didn’t have a great marriage and were not a great example of a good relationship. They lost a lot of money in the depression, and my grandmother’s gambling addiction became more apparent the less they could afford to lose.

My mother learned early about debt, loan sharks, and strained marriages. She knew to be an independent woman early on out of necessity.

By the time she met and married my father, she had a lucrative job as a woman’s sportswear buyer for upscale department stores. My father also had a demanding career, but like most marriages during that time, women continued to be the housekeepers, cooks, and caretakers, even as they “brought home some bacon.”

When I became engaged to my first husband, my mother approached me about “adjusting to married life.” I rolled my eyes and reminded her that I’d been living with my fiancé for over a year, so I didn’t need to “have the talk.”

In retrospect, maybe we should’ve talked because it might have been an early warning about my choice of men. We divorced five years later. I didn’t need to adjust to him; I needed to adjust my choice of men.

I’m sure there is some adage that states, “The older you get, the more difficult it is to adjust.” So, I am proud of the fact that I am better off having made several life adjustments in my later years, or so I believe.

When I first moved here, it was winter, and I experienced the shortest days I could remember. With the sun going down by 4 p.m., I was getting sleepy and ready for bed. It took time to train myself to stay up past 7 p.m. It was not something I thought I’d be proud of before moving here, but now, I am prepared for the short days of PNW winters. I’ve even managed to stay up past 10 p.m. on some winter nights.

I’ve also adjusted to my car’s sluggish performance with its heavy snow tires. I doubt the engineers at Ford designed the Mustang convertible for snow tires, but here I am, confidently driving through snow to play tennis, another adjustment – playing tennis on indoor courts. But at least I can play tennis year-round, so adjust I have. An additional benefit is that it saves me from smearing myself with sunscreen.

After Daniel and I split, I had to adjust to single life again. And now, reconciled and back together, we both had to make some adjustments to living together and in eastern Washington. Four years and counting, and mostly adjusted, there are days we are still a work in progress.

I have adjusted to Mugsy, small as he is, being the master of my side of the bed. How is it possible he cannot manage to sleep vertically, only horizontally, so he maximizes his space and minimizes mine?

Most recently, I submitted my letter of retirement and will end my professional career on February 2, 2024. A change of lifestyle that I am simultaneously dreading and gleefully anticipating. My Los Angeles trips will now be for pleasure, i.e., tennis with friends, warm weather, and sushi.